Just Lizzie

wow nursing school is time consuming. it would be a little more helpful if i didn’t have to work every other weekend, and babysit on my weekends off, but i need money. All my time is going to the classroom leaving me little time to work. i’ve sort of turned into an antisocial bitch. i’m just stressed out and too tired to do anything ughhh. keeping my fingers crossed until next september. Needless to say it was a wee bit difficult to get into the christmas spirit, but i’m here NOW :)

CHRISTMAS BREAKKKK!!!! and it’s almost Christmas :) i had to limit the gifts this year but i still believe i did pretty decent.

and i got the flip minohd (present from the moms, got it early since it came in the mail ;] lol)

so expect some crazy, funny, stupid, random, pointless videos or something :p

Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards

Choose drugs and having the time of your life with the kids you would’ve hated in high school. Choose a family. Choose God. Choose both. Choose one lover and sleeping in the same bed every night. Choose many and sleep in a different bed every night. Choose to take the late train home. Choose to walk. Choose to learn about the weather. Choose to drown in the ocean. Choose to live day to day on luck. Choose sex. Choose drugs. Choose fucking up every chance you get in the pursuit of finding something pure.

We will all forgive you.

not looking so good.

lizzie, grow some balls.
…not literally.

maybe this will help. maybe not. anyways, here goes:
I LIKE YOU! i know that because i can never get you out of my head. but i like it. and i like how you make me smile when i see your name pop up on my phone, and the way you make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy when i see you..

too bad i can’t tell you that to your face :/

blah. i really don’t understand people in this world anymore. they say one thing, and do another. it’s too exhausting for me. maybe that explains why i limit who with and how often i socialize now?
that and the fact that everyone usually wants to chill when i’m working, but nothing is going on when i’m actually off. excuse? idgaf.

yeah, i’m lame. got a problem? no one should be reading this anyways.
i think i’ll go pray or something.

step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. after your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight.
Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all “a disappointment.” puke and starve and cut and drink because you don’t want to feel any of this. puke and starve and cut and drink because you need an anesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it’s too late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can’t stop.
Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you.
“Why?” is the wrong question.
Ask “Why not?”

—Wintergirls